Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Where to begin. First off, this is Disclosure – but no sex – (actually he didn’t go all the way in Disclosure) but Disclosure was just Fatal Attraction in an office. Ok, are you with me? So Obsessed is about Beyonce and her hubby who recently got married and have a child together. She used to be his assistant then they started dating etc. She is no longer his assistant and he has a gay guy instead. The gay guy gets sick (for 2 days) and they get a temp Ali Larter…hold up.
When I am sick for 2 days THEY DON’T HIRE A TEMP???? – BUT I think she was already temping there for someone else, so they kept her on an extra few days to cover…hold up.
How can a generic temp be so skilful at multiple jobs in the same company – and to be an assistant to one of the head guys? Anyway she likes her boss and makes a move and nothing happens….but in Ali Larter’s mind it did happen.
So the guy never tells Beyonce and one day Ali shows up at a convention in vegas - I think it was vegas…I cant remember, but this is AFTER another person gets sick and she gets to temp for them for a week…ok, this is getting ridiculous. Anywho, she OD’s in the guys bed and then Beyonce figures it out and doesn’t believe him when he says nothing happened. Why didn’t he tell her a month ago when Ali made a move…well he was about to tell her when just before he can speak, she reveals that her sisters husband cheated on her…so of course he cant tell her then…etc.
The movie is FILLED with these super fake coincidences that wouldn’t happen in the “real” world…or maybe they wood, only Dr. Manhattan knows. Beyonce finally forgives him, but Ali is now pissed and breaks into their home, takes their child, BUT BUT BUT…whew…he’s ok, she just left him in the backseat of the car!
She comes back again and her and Beyonce duke it out catfight style. Now the fight is pretty even considering the fact that Beyonce would probably kick the hell outta Ali Larter in 2 seconds. Ali Larter is skinner than my baby toe!
Anyway, I was able to call how Ali would meet her death – yes I just gave that away – but I saw it coming a mile away...so will you.
But this movie is really made to have fun with. Not to be taken too seriously, and on that note it was pretty fun to watch (even though I watched it in 3 sittings), but in any case it wasn’t bad.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I have a crazy idea. It’s so crazy, it just might work. I don’t know if I should tell you, it’s that crazy. I don’t know. Should I? Okay, here goes: RELEASE TRAILERS IN THEATRES AND ONLINE SO THAT I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THEM CONVENIENTLY WHENEVER I WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why am I forced to go out of my way to watch your commercial? This ain’t Star Wars. Bring the hype TO ME!!! Fox better get their arses in gear quickly, because right now when I talk about Avatar at work or wherever, people have no clue what I’m talking about. Seriously. People at large don’t know what Avatar is. Honestly. Unless you’re a geek who visits joblo.com or whatever and are going to see Avatar anyway, the mass audience doesn’t know what Avatar is, and if they do, they think it’s The Last Airbender. This Avatar Day only penetrates geeks. Horray! Good for you. Getting geeks excited by blurry CGI aliens and spaceships is like shooting ducks in a barrel.
And another thing, and I know this is tantamount to sacrilege, but I’m getting a little sick and tired of these sniveling filmmakers bellyaching about their vision on the big screen. Avatar is in some new fandangled 3D process and James Cameron wants you to watch it on IMAX 3D, the only “true” vision of his “work”, which is why he wants everyone to preview the movie in IMAX theatres in 3D on this Avatar Day. Oh, he does, does he? Listen, filmmakers have to get with the 21st Century. In the average lifespan of a movie (which is seemingly infinite), a movie will be watched on TV, computer screens, tiny iPods and whatever other screens they come up with in the future waaaaaaaaaay more so than on a movie theatre screen. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a movie theatre at home. No matter how big your TV screen is it ain’t comparin’ to an average movie theatre screen, let alone an IMAX one. Movies need to be able to hold up on whatever screen you can see it on. If your movie needs IMAX and gimmicky 3D for me to watch your movie, than you SUCK! If your movie can’t hold up on anything other than a movie theatre screen, then back to the drawing board with you! And let’s face facts: 3D is a gimmick. It’s cool and all in moderation, I suppose, but you don’t need it to tell a story. If Avatar sucks without 3D, then it sucks outright. I’m willing to bet that it doesn’t need the 3D gimmick to be enjoyed by audiences as I’m sure the story is very good (this ain’t Michael Bay we’re talking about here), but James Cameron’s insistence that 3D is necessary is annoying at best. The only way that 3D can be the wave of the future is if you don’t need glasses to watch it. Until then, it’s a gimmick. End of story.
Anyways, that’s my Avatar Day hype. Summary: Fox, give us actual movie trailers! And stop being dicks.
Aliens land on Earth and are put into a slum. Well they call it District 9, but it’s a slum where they are treated as second-class citizens maybe worse. Wikus is a regular guy (a bit nerdy) in charge of evicting the aliens (called prawns) and relocating them to a death camp. Wikus seems to be very happy at serving these eviction notices, and you may not like the guy very much. Now he’s not all bad, but sometimes Wikus can be a real Dikus. But after he accidentally gets exposed to some of the alien fluid he starts to sing a different tune.
The movie is basically showcasing the way we treat outsiders and minorities and anything we don’t understand, and what happens if we suddenly become the outsider.
The first half of the movie is set up as a mockumentary to explain what has happened in the last 20 years with the aliens. Slowly we merge from that to the movie, and when the action starts, it’s really impressive.
One of the titans mentioned the films budget at approx 30 million (imdb backs him up) and that is pretty darn good for a movie that shows the cgi aliens all the time. They are not hidden, or in shadows, they are in plain site throughout the movie and when the alien mech shows up! Wow! What an accomplishment for the film makers!
5/5 – will be remembered as great scifi movie!
Monday, August 17, 2009
SRK (Shahrukh Khan) stars as Surinder (Suri) a big time nerd…just look at the pic! He is good friends with his teacher, who is at death’s door and his teachers daughter, Taani, is getting married, and once Suri gets a look at her, he falls in love.
The day of the wedding there is a terrible accident and Taani’s fiancé dies, and her father gets sent to the hospital. He sees that Taani is completely destroyed by the death and before he dies he wishes her to marry Suri. There is no love there (well, there is on Suri’s part, but no one knows that), but Taani agrees to marry Suri anyway.
Suri is a “geek” which now a days means a smart nice guy. He loves her, but she tells him that she can never love anyone again due to her loss of her fiancé and father at the same time. She spends the next few days alone at the house while Suri works. He treats her well, makes her breakfast and loves her, but cant tell her.
One day she decides on taking some dancing lessons so Suri forks over the cash and she goes. He decides he wants to watch her, but in disguise. He visits his friend who owns a salon and they make him over but accidentally shave his moustache, and he becomes Raj. A superstar kind of guy, who is overly cool, and really over the top!
What happens next is obvious, Raj and Taani end up being dance partners, and she ends up liking him.
The running theme throughout the movie is that “God is writing this love story”, so things are going well, the only problem is that Raj is really Suri and Suri is really a geek. Suri says (in a great line in the film) “I will be Raj to make her smile and laugh, but when she loves me I want her to love Suri.”
I wont give away the ending, only to say it ended the only way it could. I have to admit I really liked this movie. It was really well done and believable.
SRK was great as usual and the story was new (to me anyway) and I love his attitude, that she has to love me, the real me.
Most movies have their characters make compromises. Like I will change to be with you, but come on, that doesn’t happen. And it didn’t in this film.
4.5/5 – great film.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The holy trinity of 80s toons for me was, He-Man, GI Joe and Transformers…of course Thundercats, Silver Hawks, and Bravestarr were cool too (so was Flash Gordon and Blackstar for that matter.) But these 3 were the best. So obviously any movie adaptation is anticipated.
Transformers was such a let down and GI Joe looked like it was going down the same road. But it was actually pretty enjoyable.
Actually, I really liked it! I mean the Joes were the Joes. All of the cartoon tag lines were in there and not made fun of. In TF they say “more than meets the eye” but right after they make fun of the line “I cant believe I said that.” In Joe, they just say them. “Knowing is half the battle.” “Yo Joe!” etc. Even “A real American hero" got in there and wasn’t made fun of!
That being said, I didn’t like Cobra Commander…BUT they have the chance to make him better in part 2..which doesn’t excuse his lousy look in part one, but I liked that he took control in the end.
Snake Eyes and Stormshadow stole the show and there were 4 fights between them. 2 in adult form (with costume, that we could see – unlike the Prime Megatron fight, where sam kills megatron). And they fought twice as kids (with the kids being really good fighters!!!!!!!).
So to quickly sum up:
Baroness and her guns – gawd damn those guns were at par with the level gun in I come in Peace.
The action – as good as an 80’s action movie where the action serves a point…sure it’s as simple as – the bad guys are heading towards the Eiffel tower and we need to stop them. So lets have a kick ass chase and destroy everything in our path. Hey, works for me. The final action scene in TF serves no purpose…where were they taking the cube?
The vehicles – wow, a lot of cool gadgets and vehicles that do all sorts of things. And the gear reminded me of the cartoon.
Ripcord’s jokes…pretty tee n hee, but they were kept to a min, and they never interfered with an action scene. And he actually had a purpose – he was a skilled shooter and pilot.
Cobra commander’s look. Darn it, he is the face of GI Joe in my opinion and he didn’t look the part.
Overall, I really liked it. Ill buy it, ill see part 2 and I actually got pumped to watch the cartoons again.
So good job guys.
Man those guns were so wicked.
4/5 (Snake eyes is so wicked in this movie man…I want GI JOE ORIGINS: SNAKE EYES!)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
I really enjoy the HP series and this is no exception. By now, we all know the characters and they really come to life as the series goes on. This instalment is just as good as all of the others, and even though, there is less “action” the characters are handled very well, and I love where the series is going.
I will continue to support HP and continue buying the dvds. Good show guys.
5/5 – this is a great series, and they always make my top 10 of the year…this one will too.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Well, I recently cracked open my Billy Wilder 9-pack. For those of you born beneath a rock, Billy Wilder was one of the greatest film directors of all time. No kidding. I already own Stalag 17 (an interesting look at soldier's in a POW camp during WWII), Sunset Boulevard (an excellent, though somewhat depressing classic), and Sabrina (a light-hearted comedy, unusual for Wilder). That's right, light-hearted is unusual; Wilder shows us the ugly side of people, in a completely comedic way.
C.C. Baxter (Jack Lemmon) is a young admin guy working for an insurance agency. He also happens to be a bachelor, and owns a decent apartment in New York. Now, Baxter has a bunch of philandering bosses, and they all use Baxter's apartment for their trysts with their mistresses (and yes, it is unbelievable that all these mangers would be having affairs, but trust me, that's not the point). These managers are giving Baxter chances at big promotions in exchange for the use of his apartment. Despite being a bachelor, Baxter has eyes for Fran Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine), a cute elevator girl who works in his office. Fran, while pretending to be all business, is actually carrying on an affair with Jeff D. Sheldrake (Fred MacMurray), the head of personnel for the company. Of course, Sheldrake gets wind of Baxter's apartment, and offers to not blow the whistle on Baxter's dubious tactics for his new promotion, in exchange for the use of the apartment. Baxter agrees, not knowing that Sheldrake is having his affair with Fran...and when he finds out...things get very, very complicated.
After watching this movie, I thought Wilder bang on nailed everything he was going for. Firstly, there are no "heroes" and "villains" in this movie...just a bunch of flawed people. Lemmon uses his bosses indiscretions to his advantage, MacLaine is having an affair with a man who she knows is married, and MacMurray uses Shirley (and evidently, a lot of women before her) for sex, while refusing to divorce his wife, and carry-on the veneer of a respectable family man. What is really interesting though, is Wilder's portrayal of the bosses. They're all shown as a bunch of opportunistic, insensitive jackasses (much like most managers in real life). They use Lemmon for the use of his apartment, not caring about inconveniencing him (and in one case, forcing him to leave bed and sleep in Central Park for the night), and the first opportunity they get, they screw him over, using the logic "what has he done for us lately?" The way they're shown, while cartoonish in a sense, is very close to my dealings with not just management, but a lot of people in the workplace these days: a bunch of selfish, hypocrites.
Then you have Shirley Maclaine. There's one section where she just agonizes falling in love with a man who is wrong for her. "Why can't I fall in love with a nice guy like you?" She asks Lemmon, at one point. The funny thing is, I've had conversations with women just like that. They fall in love with the wrong man, and then they ask why they did something so stupid, and then pine for him in the next breath. I know men may do this as well, but as I'm only interested in women (in that sort of sense), I'm not privy to those conversations. I won't tell you if she figures things out at the end or not. All I will say is that you'll probably find more women like MacLaine's character, than these fantasy smart, attractive women that you find in most movies.
So, watch this movie, if you're tired of the same old cliched romantic comedy/dramas about the guy who does everything right, and deservedly gets the girl in the end. Lemmon is more of a lackey, too blinded by his own ambition to step up to the amoral power brokers controlling his life, and seize the one thing is his life he truly needs. Wilder is clever though, in making his just likeable enough for the common audience member to sympathize with him. Likewise, though the speeches get annoying, you want MacLaine to end up with Lemmon. You just don't know if it's going to happen. Watch the movie, and find out.
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars.
I bid thee a fond goodnight.
Tony Jaa wrote and directed this one.
What you need to know about Ong Bak 2 BEFORE you see it.
1 – this is a period movie (feudal Thailand)
2 – they are trying to make a “real” movie (ill explain)
3 – I didn’t have English subtitles – so I don’t know if the if the story was good.
4 – this should not be compared to Ong Bak 1, or Protector.
Ok, the effects and setting were wicked. The story looks interesting too, but there isn’t as much action in this one.
Like Ong Bak 1 was like “lets show what Tony can do.”
A lot of the fights could be edited out and the story would still make sense. Same with Protector.
That being said, OB2 is short. 90 mins and when the action comes, it never lets up.
This movie has some of the craziest stuff ever! Do you remember the “More Guys” scene from Protector? Well this is more guys but they are NINJAS!!! There is even a Crow Ninja!!!! Not only do they fight on top of elephants, but underneath, around and over them! The elephant is used as a weapon on some parts and every ninja weapon is in this movie. Kama’s, 3 section staff, swords, halberds, spears, wolverine claws, etc.
This movie is soooooooooooo crazy.
5/5 (man that elephant part is so wicked)
Intro story with Hal Jordan. Everything’s in there, including the Green Lantern Corps. Within 10 mins Hal is with the Guardians and they are explaining the ring. He never returns to Earth for the rest of the movie!!! It’s all in space!!!!! Sinestro is the villain and he rocks man! They even give him his Yellow-Black costume (which I love). I am not a big Green Lantern guy, but after this movie I am!
Ps, I think this movie will make the live action one look death…oh well.
Mockumentary about a guy who gets electrocuted to become BIG MAN JAPAN. A big huge Godzilla type (he looks like a big sumo) who fights monsters. However, in this film, no one really cares about him. They think he sucks too!
The monsters in this film are really bizarre. Like really! And the ending is very odd, but I think I figured it out….but still…odd.
This movie is just odd. People say there is a lot of subtle humor…well I didn’t really laugh much at the movie, but thought it was neat. It’s a bit slow at times though…and the fights are not long, but neat.
The ending, even thought it’s odd, is funny! I have to watch this one again and see if I pick up anything new.
Good one for the boys to own – If you like Godzilla (kaiju) films.
3.5/5 (for now…)
Cary Grant believes his wife is cheating on him. She spends a night in a hotel with her singing teacher.
“My car broke down and we were stuck” she says.
He replies, “oh come on, people stopped believing that lie before cars started breaking down!”
The entire film is like that…and it’s a fun little movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Lets face it, any Cary Grant movie is great!
Mr. T runs around to help people in their daily lives.
This was a fun show. I think Mr. T makes it the best (duh), but his charisma is so amazing that half of the problems get solved because they wanna make T look good! I love how in one episode after the commercial break, we come back and Mr. T is like “if you just tuned in….then what the hell is wrong with you! You should watch my show from the beginning fool!”
Mr. T rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!