Friday, August 21, 2009

Be-yawn-ce.


Obsessed.

Where to begin. First off, this is Disclosure – but no sex – (actually he didn’t go all the way in Disclosure) but Disclosure was just Fatal Attraction in an office. Ok, are you with me? So Obsessed is about Beyonce and her hubby who recently got married and have a child together. She used to be his assistant then they started dating etc. She is no longer his assistant and he has a gay guy instead. The gay guy gets sick (for 2 days) and they get a temp Ali Larter…hold up.

When I am sick for 2 days THEY DON’T HIRE A TEMP???? – BUT I think she was already temping there for someone else, so they kept her on an extra few days to cover…hold up.

How can a generic temp be so skilful at multiple jobs in the same company – and to be an assistant to one of the head guys? Anyway she likes her boss and makes a move and nothing happens….but in Ali Larter’s mind it did happen.

So the guy never tells Beyonce and one day Ali shows up at a convention in vegas - I think it was vegas…I cant remember, but this is AFTER another person gets sick and she gets to temp for them for a week…ok, this is getting ridiculous. Anywho, she OD’s in the guys bed and then Beyonce figures it out and doesn’t believe him when he says nothing happened. Why didn’t he tell her a month ago when Ali made a move…well he was about to tell her when just before he can speak, she reveals that her sisters husband cheated on her…so of course he cant tell her then…etc.

The movie is FILLED with these super fake coincidences that wouldn’t happen in the “real” world…or maybe they wood, only Dr. Manhattan knows. Beyonce finally forgives him, but Ali is now pissed and breaks into their home, takes their child, BUT BUT BUT…whew…he’s ok, she just left him in the backseat of the car!

She comes back again and her and Beyonce duke it out catfight style. Now the fight is pretty even considering the fact that Beyonce would probably kick the hell outta Ali Larter in 2 seconds. Ali Larter is skinner than my baby toe!

Anyway, I was able to call how Ali would meet her death – yes I just gave that away – but I saw it coming a mile away...so will you.

But this movie is really made to have fun with. Not to be taken too seriously, and on that note it was pretty fun to watch (even though I watched it in 3 sittings), but in any case it wasn’t bad.

2.5/5

--J-KraKen--[>

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