Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Bloodrayne Series.


Bloodrayne


Kristanna Loken, Ben Kingsley, Billy Zane, Michael Madsen, and Michelle Rodriguez star in this first of three movies based the popular video game.


I have never played BR, but it looks cool! Apparently Uwe Boll (the director) likes turning video games into movies, Postal, Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, House of the Dead, and In the Name of the King (Dungeon Siege), are all video game movies. You may know Uwe Boll from recent news where he was actually physically boxing his critics. If you think he sucks go fight him! Some of you may not know him, but he is compared to a modern day Ed Wood and everyone hates his films. People even started a petition to make him retire. How about starting one for Michael Bay, he has ruined more childhoods than asthma. I actually enjoy Uwe’s movies and I also like that he has made a lot. I mean the guy makes like 2-5 movies a year! And he gets good stars too, In the Name of the King had Jason Statham! So if you don’t like him, go make a movie that’s better than one of his. You’ll find it’s not so easy to make films.


Anyway, enough about Boll, you can check out his bio on wikipedia.


So anyway, this movie takes place in the middle ages and adds vampires to sword and sorcery. It was actually pretty good. It still had the usual bad dialogue and some really cheap acting, but I mean it has TONS of GORE and there was some nudity for once too, so I mean what the hell else you want from this? Kristanna was wicked (she played the Terminatrix in T3) and along with the gore, this was a fun movie! It’s the best of the series for sure.


A special note on part one – I had Deceptisean over to watch this one about 2 years ago, but when we put the DVD in, we noticed there was a special feature – Dinner with Uwe Boll. This basically was Uwe and his wife eating this cheap Thai take-out and drinking wine with some unknown interviewer. We were stunned. We ended up watching the entire thing and didn’t have time to watch Bloodrayne! I would say get this dvd if only for that special feature!


3.5/5


Bloodrayne: Deliverance.


Part 2 has no one from the original cast returning, so the new Rayne is Natassia Malthe and she is looking pretty damn good in this movie (she also comes back for part 3). The premise of this series is that each one takes place 100-150 years after the last. So now this is a western with vampires!


Really cool idea here and they say that Billy the Kid was a vampire and Pat Garrett was a hunter! Rayne joins in and this becomes a cool little western movie with some good gore. Of course this one isn’t as good as the first and Uwe used the old Sergio Leone technique of very slow pans, zoom-ins, and a whole lot of build up. So it’s really slow compared to the first one (and the third one), but it was still a cool movie anyway, and I mean if you are getting part one, you may as well get 2.


3/5


Bloodrayne: The Third Reich.


Natassia returns as Rayne to fight Nazis Vampires in the 1940’s. There is a also a brothel and lesbian scene. I can pretty much end the review right there and it’s a must own. And for some reason Uwe Boll discovered Natassia’s cleavage, cause its basically second billing in this movie.


This one also has a great behind the scenes featurette which starts with a bunch of cutout Uwe Boll’s head and a thumbs up bombarding the screen. I know this doesn’t make sense and I cannot explain it, you have to see it to get it.


The fighting is really good in this one and the scenery is great too. It was also filmed in Croatia – my homeland, so that was cool.


This was a great movie, and its basically tied with part one, although the gore in part one was better and this one left out Rayne’s signature weapons and changed them to swords – not sure why they did that? Also the story here is a bit off – it’s hard to follow what is happening, but it’s still fun.


3.5/5


So all in all this is a fun series and you get what you expect. A hot girl killing vampires.


I say get em all!


J-Man.

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